I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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