would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
