i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize