Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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