I think scott just propositioned me for sex
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
