Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
