Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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