We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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