I am puke
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
