So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
