why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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