I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
