I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
