so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize