why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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