I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
