The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
