in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
