I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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