Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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