that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
