I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
