Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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