I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
