I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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