There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize