I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
