I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My life is pants optional.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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