He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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