I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
