If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
