I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
