New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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