Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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