Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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