Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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