Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
