I could make wine with my vomit
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
