Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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