i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
