I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize