Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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