woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
