nut hugger
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
