why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My life is pants optional.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
