allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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