Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My cat gives me a boner
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
