her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my being single is dangerous.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
