He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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