I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Randomize
