Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
