They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
