Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He better not be in your backpack
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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