just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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