Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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