Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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