fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
