There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
