I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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