Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
