At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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