We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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